Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
