I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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