i don't like sucking hair
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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