My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
