I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
