I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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