You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
