he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
