If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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