You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
