"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
