we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
