dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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