highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
