Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
