If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
