Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
