I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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