i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
