I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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