pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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