i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it's like iHOP with fire
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
