i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
