I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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