wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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