i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
