you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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