I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize