I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
