You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it was like his penis was on wheels.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My life is pants optional.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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