I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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