the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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