i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
