It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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