Whod you bang
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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