Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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