i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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