i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
