it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
