did you get engaged???
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
