I hate your face
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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