it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
