do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
