How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
