Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
