the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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