Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
