Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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