Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
