he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
