brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
