I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
