If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
