wanna go halves on a baby?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
