ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
