let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
