dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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