let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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