its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
