You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
