A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
